it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
