let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
