Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
