Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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