ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
