Do you still have your period?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
