You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
