what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
