I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
