naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
