I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
