he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
