I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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