There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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