This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
third nipple confirmed
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
