He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
