Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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