dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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