Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
