Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The power of my boobs compel you
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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