I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize