Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize