I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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