Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
