you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
