her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
