they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
