i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
wow bdsm is so cute
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
