i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
