i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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