My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
