If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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