I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
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