living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
