Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize