Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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