Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
