Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize