I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just pynch a tree in the face
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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