I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
