Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
