wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just high enough for therapy.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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