found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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