Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
