Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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