i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
