foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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