the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
