i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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