i think my tv is drunk
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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