am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
