My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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