That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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