Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
