He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
