i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm both gender and math confused
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
