There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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