He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
