He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
