the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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