I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
