Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
